It’s late March and I’m in a funk. I inspired and get excited and want to work on art, but when I sit down to do anything, I have absolutely no attention span, drive or stick-to-itiveness. I’m trying to not get to in my head about it, but it almost feels like a creative block – shhh, Robyn, don’t even say the words! Then, just when I needed it, I had a post show up in my instagram memories recently, from exactly 2 years ago on that same day. The caption said “I’ve had little to no attention span for art making this month” and it felt like a reminder that this feeling could be cyclical on an annual basis.
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This led me to wonder if it could be a familiar feeling I get when spring is approaching, or here already, but when I am not feeling the expected energetic and inspired feelings associated with “spring fever”.
Here’s the thing… I like winter, in fact I LOVE winter! Little can beat a clean white blanket of snow covering all the brown and gray, dead underneath. Everything is that much more quiet and peaceful, with a carpet of snow dampening all noise. For most of my life I’ve felt this resentment and exclusion from most of society, that seems to be very much united in their HATRED of winter. Nothing seems to anger people more than showing your excitement and joy when it snows. I remember when I was younger, people would say ‘Wait until you have drive to work in it” or “Wait until you have a home and have to shovel”. Neither of these things have deterred me yet, and for the inevitable comment about only driving 5 minutes to work… let me remind you I did live in rural Sycamore for a couple years, and had to be at work on the opposite side of DeKalb at the crack of dawn. I still get excited to shovel snow, and this year there has only been one snow that was shovel-able, and our neighbor got to it with his snowblower before I had a shot at it myself.
Which brings me to the realization (that I come to over and over again) that a HORRIBLE Winter makes for the BEST Spring! What’s a horrible Winter? A Winter so hard, so cold, so long, so dark and overcast, so dry, so dreary and muted, so much snow followed by so much slush, and mud, that you get cabin fever. When the winter is so mild (like this last one) that I am still quite comfortable going outside for regular long walks, that I rarely even wear a winter coat when going from my house to the car because buckling in is a pain and it’s not even cold enough to warrant it anyway, when we only ran the humidifier for a month before packing it away again, when I’ve only worn a my favorite winter hat and mittens a few times, when I am still just as excited about my layered winter wardrobe and thick cuddldud socks as I was in November… it is going to lead to this “Spring Sadness” I’m currently having.
This last fall and winter I started digging myself out of my all black covid wardrobe rut. Ok, rut sounds negative, maybe pattern is better. Uniform? I still love the black-dress-leggings-boots-and-a-sweater look and feel, but I am also getting excited about bringing back more color and pattern as well. As it got colder I acquired some clothing pieces that I really love, and have been following more and more daily outfit accounts on social. I even started documenting/photographing some of my looks, and have felt enormous pride when getting some compliments from unexpected sources. At some point this winter I was hit with this realization that winter wasn’t going to last forever and I’m going to eventually have to wear lighter and fewer items. I just love layering, I’m just not a single layer person. In an attempt to not get depressed about summer clothes, and being so hot and sweaty no matter what, I tried to think of clothing that inspires me for wearing in the summer. I’m sure I’ve talked about it on the blog before, but I come back again and again to a memory (from probably over 15 years ago) of walking in to the campus 7-11 and a girl was checking out and she was wearing a flowy skirt, sneakers, and a basic T-shirt. I can’t remember the colors, and I don’t think I even saw her face, but I just remember thinking that she looked put together and confident in a combo I hadn’t really thought of before then. I guess I thought skirts were more dressy and would be paired with a more dressy shirt and shoe, but I liked the idea of wearing a skirt as casually as you’d wear jeans. This look has become a staple for me ever since. While composing this post and searching the archives for the “what I wore today” link, I came upon this post titled “Summer Means Skirt Wearing” from 2008, about a skirt I made myself, and funny enough it also addresses how I was over the heat of summer in early June. What can I say, I am who I am.
I’ve already sewn myself a new skirt and have been scoping out graphic Ts with awesome art to pair with my skirts. As predicted, I’m already stocked up on my black and white striped Ts. I also have this pair of shorts I speckle dyed last summer and have bought a pair of pants that I want to do the same to. I guess I’m finding that creative outlet after all, just not in an area I expected.
Great essay! I have blog posts from different years saying I love Each of the four seasons best, LOL.