A New Era

Where do I even begin? I had so much to say a few months ago, but because of wanting everything to be finalized, I felt I couldn’t make any “official” announcement. An announcement that I had daydreamed for a long time. Now that everything is behind me, or rather, maybe EVERYTHING IS AHEAD, I am feeling overwhelmed with where to even begin sharing. So, I’ll start simply… In May 2025 I was let go from my job of 21 years. I am officially unemployed, and it’s a GOOD THING! I am FREE! 

On the evening of my last day at work, my family took me out for “Victory Shakes”. It’s something my brother has done forever. Usually it is offered as an incentive, like “if we are able to do this impossible task, Victory Shakes are on me!” People that are close to me know what it was like working at my last job. I had a previous manager say “You could make a movie about the crazy things that happen here. It might not make for the best movie, other people wouldn’t believe it, but WE would know it was ALL TRUE!” My nieces and nephews were shocked when we said the shakes are because I got fired, but we had to explain why it was good, and the real ones understand, cheered, and hugged me in congratulations… like Courtney making me the “ask me about being retired” headband.

Really quickly for those not in the know – I worked as a graphic designer/prepress operator for a printing company. When I started working there they printed everything from business cards, brochures, mailers, magazines to newspapers, and did direct mail. The print industry has changed dramatically in the years I’ve been there, and is a shadow of its former self.  I am only able to say losing my job is a good thing, and that I’m not panicked about my future, because my husband and I are in a very fortunate place at this time. Recently Matt was saying how we would be in big trouble if he had not decided to change jobs (from working at the local university, to returning to CDL truck driving) five years ago. I never made much money at my job, but I loved the actual work and the industry. That being said, the love for print and the small amount of money was very often not enough to warrant the bad working conditions, and on a number of occasions Matt had my back and told me to quit, and that we’d figure something out. Having his support was enough for me to stand up for myself, so it never came to that. Standing up for myself almost always remedied the worst situations. Now back to it… 

Polaroids from 1999, when I used to work on a light table for the local weekly newspaper

I LOVE PRINT! It’s funny looking back. It wasn’t intentional, and I had no idea just how central print was to my life, until looking back when it should have been previously obvious. I had a newspaper delivery route when I was in middle school. I took all the graphic design classes (and independent studies, even)  throughout high school, which led to me being hired to run the printing presses to print school district papers during the summers between junior and senior year, and after graduation. Starting my senior year in high school, I was hired as an intern working in the design/production department at the weekly newspaper. After graduation, I was hired on and worked there through college. After the newspaper was sold, and a two year hiatus working as a para-professional at a middle school, I got a job working for the printing company that used to print the newspaper I previously worked at. This means I have worked in that building for over 25 years (including the newspaper I worked at before, sitting at a light table as a 16 year old in the exact same room I would in the very end, for the printing company).

While I went to school for Art, I ultimately brought these worlds together when refining Robayre to what it is today, a stationery business.

My loves for Art+Snail Mail+Print=Robayre

Print has been dying since the turn of the century. For a long time I could remain in doubt, but it became hard to deny as the incoming jobs and customers dwindled. We probably only stayed open as long as we did, because we were able to acquire several other printers’ client lists after they closed. When I started, there were 3 shifts running three presses (2 sheetfed, and one web for newspaper). By the time the last press was shut down, there was one shift that only worked 3 days a week. By 2019, I was burned out. It wasn’t just me, my manager quit with a BANG, and it left me as the last person standing in what once had covered 3 departments and 8 employees. I literally prayed for something to happen and then something did. COVID. Everything got shut down, it felt like EVERYONE was getting to stay home, EXCEPT for essential workers. The real heroes, people in the medical fields, grocery stores, etc., that were keeping our society afloat. BUT THEN, guess who got a phone call quickly after our Governor announced the shut down, WAVES HAND DRAMATICALLY, ME, being told by the owner of my company that my graphic design/prepress job was considered “essential” because we print media, and the news is essential and protected. It led to Covid sweeping through the business a couple times, as the county kept denying us for vaccines. What could have been a much needed respite, led to more frustration and further burnout. A burnout that made me want to leave, but without similar job opportunites (re: dying field) in our area, I had no choice but to keep chugging along.

Flashback: after I had been working at the printing company for a short time I came across a loose piece of scrap paper that I didn’t even remember writing. I had apparently written it while working at the middle school between design jobs, and it had a list of things I wanted for my future. It included wanting to get back into design/print and to find a job that was within walking/cycling distance from home. I can’t remember everything on the list, but almost everything had come true! But after it was no longer a dream come true, why didn’t I just find a new job? Why didn’t I leave before it came to that? Early on I had been targeted for head hunting, getting awkward phone calls asking me to come work for other companies while I was sitting feet away from my manager at work. Those offers dried up quickly as the shift in the industry was evident. I live in a small town and there aren’t other options to work in print, specifically prepress.

So, now what?

As I’d seen the writing on a wall long before the axe fell, I had plenty of time to dream of what life would or could be like on the other side. For a long time I’ve said I will need to de-institutionalize my brain and body from our society’s life long training to be good a worker to make it in life. Does waking up every morning to go to work five days a week, for someone else that only cares about bottom lines for the business, really suit everyone? Hardly. But with a society based on having to work to have health insurance, it is the route that keeps people in that line… but this is a topic for another day. As things went, my boss apparently just stopped paying our health insurance, and it wasn’t until March of this year that our insurance company retro cancelled our plan. At that point I was added to Matt’s health care, which made for a bit of a smoother transition with everything that would come in the next couple months. Again, part of the “being in a very fortunate position”, that I mentioned up above.

I’ve definitely taken time off to decompress over the last several months. Before that, while I was still working, I often felt like I was sinking. So much of our home and life had fallen into such disorganization (not just junk drawers, but whole junk rooms, and garage! Now I finally have a chance (and the energy) to tackle it. Getting everything in order has been great, but also has left me feeling like I can’t work on creative work, ahem Robayre, until everything in the home is organized. Recently, with my new found freedom, my sisters and I decided it was the time to push for a multi home garage sale, and it was a success! What we didn’t sell, or rehome, we donated to several locations and charities. We can now reclaim the garage for parking a vehicle! I could have a whole post about all the things that happened surrounding the garage sale, because it was so memorable. I am now more motivated than ever to make regular donations, and look up selling things on ebay.

I will admit that as it got closer to the end, even though I’d been excited for the change, I started to worry. What if I fall into depression because I don’t have something that makes me get up and out of the house? What if I lose my streak from the last 10 years of getting 10K daily steps? What if it changes me, and it completely uproots my life? What if, what if, what if? Turns out, it has been GREAT! I do not miss work in the slightest. I stay busy and productive everyday. It’s been almost 5 months, and I feel like I’m still growing into myself and making life better, as I shed all the old ideas and beliefs that I couldn’t do this or do that because of work. I hope to be so organized that I can soon announce an official full time dive into Robayre. That is THE DREAM.

While hunting through old work related photos for this post, I found this piece I made years ago to celebrate where I came from, Paste-Up! Funny enough, May 7th is also the same week I was let go of my job this year. I haven’t done paste-up for decades, but I still look back on it fondly, from when I was in high school being told I could make $30 an hour cutting color separations… Surprise, surprise, I never made $30 an hour, probably not even a third of that when I did actually cut color at the local newspaper.

I am going to end here with a song my 15 year old nephew wrote and recorded for my birthday this year. Inspired by the They Might Be Giants piece Fingertips, his family wrote, recorded and made videos for a bunch of tiny tracks for me, and this one fits here. Click over to enjoy!